Slide 1

The Stolen Dreams of Africa

The Diary of an Evolved Feminist

14 minute read ● by Mbong A. FT.

So I finally got a chance to read through Bell Hook’s widely acclaimed book ‘Feminism is for everybody’ and while I agree in principle with many of what Hooks brilliantly puts forward in the handbook, there were just as many things that left me wondering.

It left me feeling like to be a true and perfect feminist, you have to let go of your culture, you have to let go of your religion, you have to let go of a little of who you are and some of what you were created to be. In fact, we should discard sex. We should collectively become rebellious young women demanding for more. This has been a high end ask for many women and I wondered if this wasn’t bordering on tribal feminism.

In Hook’s definition of feminism, we must seek to end all forms of sexism or sexist exploitation. But what is sexism and when does it become exploitative? The truth is sexism like all forms of discrimination is fundamentally wrong, bad, evil. It is an extension of social inequality which is based on perception, it is subjective. But feminism which seeks to end all forms of sexism has made the feminist journey confusing to many. 

Let’s put this in perspective. So, I have always thought of  myself as a feminist. I think of myself as an African, who upholds African values and beliefs, I think of myself as a Christian, I think of myself as an environmentalist. While there’s a natural correlation between my feminist and environmental activism, major complications arise in merging feminism with my culture and with religion. Both my religion and culture have clean and clear sexist dimensions. But for feminism to truly be for everybody, we will have to find a way to bring it all together.

Today, almost every country under the sun has strong legal and political legislation which gives women the opportunity to be whatever they want to be. The political and legal equality that our ‘foremothers’ fought for in the first and second wave has opened the space for women to be so much more that social equality seems to have emerged on its own. It is now up to every women to define her feminist journey in any given form that she chooses to uphold for herself. We must then invest most of our energies in modern day feminism in ensuring that every woman has the right to self determination, that every woman is in a position to make the most informed choices for her life. The law protects women to decide which aspects of culture to uphold and which to ignore.

For this reason, my feminist ideology and the concept of the evolved feminist is based on the premise that no amount of empowerment, equality should override a woman’s right to self determination, her fundamental right to the pursuit of happiness. And indeed, happiness is so unique for each person that while we must continue to demand political, legal and social equality philosophically, the pursuit of happiness and the nuances of how each woman uses that equally to pursue happiness and foster harmony should be meted out as every woman sees fit in her circumstances and realities. And it is indeed in the realm of happiness that lies the answer of making it all work. It is in happiness that lies the magic bullet to combine feminism with your culture, your religion and whatever else defines you! To choose and pick what works for you. Because today more than ever before, that is totally and completely possible.

I found Bell Hook’s premise that if we end all forms of sexism we would build a more harmonious world to be far too academic. Sexism is far too entrenched in culture and in religion, and the roots run so deep that, demanding an end of all forms of sexism is a pipe dream, a smoke screen that will end up alienating many woman who though feminist in their own rights have managed to navigate their feminist journey together with the complexities of their culture and religion. Women who have embraced it all in their pursuit of happiness.

But is it possible to be a conforming teenager, to uphold your culture, to uphold your religion, and still be a feminist?

To adequately respond to this question, I will have to take you through my own feminism journey. A journey which has always been woven in activism which seeks to advance women’s ability to optimize the opportunities the feminist movement has made possible so that they can  make the most informed choices for their happiness and for harmony. 

Born in the 80s in a family of four girls (older kids) and three boys, I was lucky that I never had to face any form of discrimination on gender lines. First wave feminism had made it possible for me to have equal access to education, and indeed for society to judge me by my merits and not by my sex. 

As a teenager in the mid-late 90s, second wave feminism had taken a hold of my country Cameroon.  And when this wave hit my home country Cameroon, I was struggling to understand why women were so unfortunate. Most of the women I knew were living at the mercy of men (their husbands). These dependence on their men, opened the door for abuse, violence and much more. 

But the late 90s was also a time of hope for women. Talks of women emancipation, empowerment and development  was on every radio frequency.

In my own way, I knew I had to be a feminist by my actions, I had to be the best in whatever I set my mind to do – get a university degree, get a job, change a job, thrive at the job. And do it all to the best of my abilities. This looked like the only way to concretize all that was said on radio. 

So in truth, I was never really confronted with sexism, or perhaps I was too busy taking advantage of all what feminism had made possible that it didn’t matter, I just didn’t see or perceive it. 

Like racism, it appears that the more you spend time over analyzing gender inequality, sexism, patriarchy and along with all its troubles, the more time it steals from your ability to do the things that render those systems ridiculous. 

I am a feminist, with my culture, my religion and everything else that defines me. 

Truth is, my culture never really got in the way of me achieving any of the things I wanted for myself, neither did my religion. In fact in some cases, culture and religion helped make things easier for me. This certainly wasn’t the case for my mom and my grandmother, but there was absolutely no reason for me to be enslaved by a past that had been dealt with, that had been fixed so that my life could be better, so that I could go into the world and be whatever I wanted to be. 

Sexism like every other form of ‘ism’ is monstrous by its name. But the reality is that feminism has brought us so far that we can dismantle every obstacle today’s woman is faced with by making sure every woman is empowered enough to make the most informed choices for her life, for her happiness and for harmony in her world. 

We have to embrace the reality that not all women want to live in a patriarchy-free world. There’s more and more evidence to show that women are returning to traditional gender roles despite achieving all of what might be perceived as the accomplishments of an empowered woman. But they ain’t doing so from a position of weakness any longer, they are doing so from a position of power. They are making informed choices. 

Today, women are choosing and picking which cultural norms to uphold and which to let go, and again, they are doing so from a position of power.

Hooks considers some of the concessions women make as double standards, but the truth is, this is feminism in its true sense. Ultimately, feminism should empower women to make the most informed choices for their lives, for their happiness.

It is possible to uphold your culture, your religion, to be true to yourself and still be a feminist. Because today’s feminism is about whether we are able to decide and make informed choices for ourselves.

I was never made to choose between my culture, my religion and feminism, and girls around the world should never be made to choose. On the contrary, feminism simply opened up the space for me to be whatever I wanted to be as a woman. As an empowered woman, I am able to ensure that my culture, my religion and  everything else works together to ensure that I live my most fulfilled life. 

In the name of countering sexism, we have reduced feminism to the number of  obnoxious posts one have shares on social media, to how well one is able to bash and shame men, we have reduce feminism to the number of degrading words invented by young women to shame and ridicule men. When we do this, we reduce feminism to a fight not worth taking up.

It is about time we revived true feminism, which by all means should be measured by how well we have used the freedoms the movement has afforded us to deconstruct any perceptions or institutions that seek to marginalize women. How well we have been feminist, not by our words but by your actions? By your ability to make the most informed choices for your ultimate happiness and for harmony in your world.

Feminism is indeed for everybody, but we must stop fussing about culture about religion because all we really need to do to expand the movement, is to empower women such that they are able to make the most informed choices for themselves. To empower women so that neither culture nor religion or any social construct becomes an obstacle. In fact, with the right levels of empowerment, women are able to make the most informed choices for their happiness and are equipped to navigate the nuances of culture and religion in any way that works for them. And we must be prepared to accept the reality that many women uphold patriarchy and other gender roles as a way of expressing their feminist identity.

Most evolved feminist have successfully combined their feminist journey with their culture and their religion, they have embraced the movement without giving up any part of themselves or what makes them meaningfully happy. These women fiercely support the empowerment of women and have empowered themselves to the extent that their practice of feminism does not require that they throw their religion and culture out of the window. 

To be a feminist you don’t have to give up your culture, your don’t have to give up your religion, you simply don’t have to give up any part of you. You simply need to accept the fundamental equality of the sexes as protected by law and embrace the freedoms, the opportunities that have been made possible and do your part to deconstruct any sexist or gender stereotypes that are close to your heart by your actions, by your hard work, by your ingenuity. You must be in a position to make informed choices for your happiness and for harmony in your world.