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The Stolen Dreams of Africa

THE EVOLVED FEMINIST

My name is Yango Laura epse Chumbon. I’ve been married for almost 15 years and blessed with five adorable kids. I graduated from the University of Buea with a BSc in Journalism and Mass Communication and proceeded to the Advanced School of Mass Communications in Yaounde. In 2018, I graduated from the Advanced Vocational Training Centre in Limbe where I obtained a diploma in Hotel Management & Catering. I love reading and am very passionate about cooking, creating and tweaking recipes. When I’m happy, I cook and when I’m sad, I cook even more, laughs. And when I’m not in the kitchen or not doing anything food related (writing new recipes and trying them out) I’m running after my 4 young energetic  kids and hubby too.

I can confidently say that I consider myself as an empowered woman! I sought and still seek! 

I took steps to discover my life purpose and dedicated myself to living in a way that aligns with my principles. I’m living my purpose and bringing meaning and fulfillment to my own life and at the same time seeking to improve the lives of those around me. As a woman, I’ve come to understand that our gender has charm, wit, strength and power beyond what we think we’re capable of. We’re empowered because we have qualities no one can take away from us, neither can anyone give us permission, authority or power to show our beautiful and authentic selves.

If I knew in my early adult life what I now know about feminism, what it advocates for and the power it has given me as a woman, I would have made more informed choices. But hey! I certainly do not regret where I am today, I truly believe that everything happens for a good reason. Today I have the courage to share my experience (a story nobody except my husband knows) and I hope someone learns from it. 

One of the requirements for the award of a post graduate diploma in the Advanced School of Mass Communications(ASMAC) is to carry out a 3 month internship in any communication outfit of choice. I had the rare privilege to carry out an internship at CAMTEL(Cameroon Telecommunications); a national telecommunications and internet service provider in Cameroon. Of course, I went to my place of assignment ready to give it my best shot, especially as I’d hoped to seek employment there after my internship. 

I worked with fervour and soon became a favourite in the department where I was assigned. Little did I know that the worse would rear its ugly head.  Only a few weeks into the job, my boss started making advances at me. This made the work environment extremely unappealing and uncomfortable. Permit me describe in detail some of the things he did/said to me. He would call me into his office and describe in great detail what he would do to my body if only I would let him. He would call on the phone in my office and moan and forbid me from dropping the call until he was done. He even went as far as watching porn movies in his office and would turn up the volume each time I walked in for him to sign a document or drop a report for him to read through and edit. 

I was hurting deep inside but I didn’t know who to report the pervert to…..I feared the powers that be would use it against me. I felt dirty and felt even worse when he would literally strip me naked with how he looked at me. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell my husband who had already noticed my reluctance to go to work every morning. He asked severally if everything was ok and all I could ever bring myself to tell him was that the workload was more than I could bear. The day I opened up to my husband was the day my boss asked me to meet him in a hotel. In fact  he instructed that I  tell my husband I would work overtime! That did it for me and brought my internship to a premature end. I gave the management some vague excuses as to why I had to stop before the stipulated time, packed my bags and left! 

A few months later, I was contacted to accept a job offer in the same institution’s head office in Mamfe, which I declined. My experience was still very fresh and it haunted me for years! Today, I am glad that women speak up more when they’re sexually harassed in work places, or when sexually exploited and the perpetrators for the most part adequately punished( well I hope so!)

The boldest decision I’ve made in pursuit of happiness is deciding to be a stay at home mom. Running my home exactly how I want and personally ensuring its management, gives me a deep sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. Constantly coming up with new recipes and improving on the old ones is such a joy. Oh, how I love cooking! Making a perfect blend of ingredients and flavors and seeing awesome and mouth watering results is so amazing. I’m working on quite a good number of recipes at the moment and hoping to publish them in a book in the nearest future!

Being a stay at home mom has and still gives me the most meaningful and tangible happiness. I started having kids 8 years after I knew my husband. It was an agonizing period in my life and I have no words to describe the kind of pain I went through during those 8 years! Needless to say, society didn’t make it any easier….it’s one of the most horrible feelings to be tagged barren or made the topic of discussion in every  gathering. And even worse when the doctors tell you you’re suffering from secondary infertility and your chances of getting pregnant are 50/50!  But thank God today I’m a mom of 5 amazing kids! 

When my babies started coming back to back I knew working and taking care of them to the extent I Wanted to be involved in their well being would be super challenging. That’s when I made the decision to be a stay at home mom, a decision my husband agreed to without making a fuss thankfully. Being 100% involved in my kids lives has brought me nothing but pure joy and a deep sense of fulfillment. I’m their mom, their cook, their play partner, their “washing machine”, their doctor, their spiritual leader and their role model(in their words). Tending to their every need and hearing them recount stories of how their day went or some of the challenges some kids their age face and doing all I can to help them is just so heartwarming.

I believe it is very important for young women to know who they are and  to find and live their purpose. Self awareness is the key;  and it is a great foundation for building confidence. Knowing your strengths, what you are good at, what you love doing, being clear on your values and life beliefs and using all these to make a difference for yourself  and in your community is a great source of fulfillment. 

The fact is, learning is a lifelong  process and we learn everyday. If I give out advice, I take it too with the knowledge that we all need to find ways to grow and develop each day; whether this involves learning from the mistakes we or others make and ours or their failures, reading personal development books or teaching ourselves and each other new skills.

As we journey on in life I dream and aspire that someday we will live in a society that will let ALL women’s voices be heard; a society that will give us all the chance to make the most informed choices for ourselves without judgement of which is a superior choice. And ultimately allow us all to make decisions that will favour growth in every area of our lives so that  we can coexist in  peace and harmony with self and the world at large! My pledge as an Evolved feminist is to contribute in creating that space.

Read more stories of women making involved choices for happiness and harmony @ The Evolved Feminist

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